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There are thoughts that not everything that glitters is gold. So why is Ford still trying to sell a stairway to Heaven? |
In what is seen by most as a brilliant use of resources, Ford Motors announced today that it will rebrand current company head Alan Mulally in an attempt to make customers want to trust the company and buy it’s cars again. As of this morning, Mulally will be called “Henry Ford,” and every image of him will be replaced with colorized and modernized versions of the man who in 1899 put in motion what eventually became the Detroit-based automobile juggernaut of today.
The move was reflective of Ford’s earlier announcement that it would take the poor-selling Ford Five Hundred and rebrand it as the Taurus, arguably the best-selling Ford model of all time. The Taurus model was retired recently, but it seems the governing body of the company think names are more important than products.
“Let’s face it, if you try to sell radioactive waste, nobody’s going to buy it,” said former Ford CEO Billy Ford. “But what if you take the barrels of sludge and tell people it’s Coca-Cola? Clearly you’re going to make a killing in sales. This kind of business brilliance doesn’t grow on trees, you know. It’s obviously in my blood.”
Many folks who live on the planet Earth didn’t share the same opinion.
“Dude, we’re all about bringing dead guys back to life,” said Crispin Porter creative genius Alex Bogusky. “But come on, this is icky! In reality, at this point, we should be talking about how to bring Billy Ford’s career back to life. Ask me to do that, and I could work miracles.”