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Some women at the company embraced the condition with minimal loss of self-esteem. |
Women working at Boston-based advertising agency Arnold Worldwide happily noted recently that they have stopped growing beards. The phenomena has been a strange part of the company for quite some time. Experts at MIT’s Center for Biomedical Engineering had dubbed the phenomenon, “Lawner’s Aura.”
Almost every woman at Arnold had noted greatly improved beard growth shortly after joining the company. Studies by MIT showed that the closer women worked to creative director Ron Lawner’s office, the more beard growth they would exhibit.
“I could always tell when Ron was in the conference room next to me,” explained one anonymous female employee. “Some days I’d just get this urge where I simply had to stand up and scratch my balls.”
Experts say that average measured testosterone levels in women at the company have dropped to about 40ng/dl (nanograms per deciliter) from record highs of 2,200ng/dl just three months ago. For comparison, normal values for women range 20-80ng/dl, and for men at 300-1000ng/dl. Some women had recorded testosterone levels as high as 3100ng/dl, over three times the highest healthy male level.
“We’re pretty sure this has something to do with Ron leaving the company at the beginning of the year,” said an anonymous male employee who’s afraid Lawner may come back. “As soon as he left, I didn’t feel like I had to pee on my desk to ‘claim’ it every time another guy walked by. I’ve started writing poetry again, too.”